


My Life Before was Tragic

by c00kie



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 04:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1292023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00kie/pseuds/c00kie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 4 AU: Ben is a professor who has a crush on Leslie, who is running for city council. I think I started this for last summer's trope bingo, but I can't remember what the trope was.  I think I really just wanted to write fic where Ben lives in Pawnee and owns a dog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Life Before was Tragic

**Author's Note:**

> Ash is a stunning Jackalope. Title by The Police.

Ben’s alarm goes off at five thirty five. He slams his hand on it and sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He stretches, trying to get the kinks out of his back before putting on a pair of running shorts and a tee shirt. He goes into the living room where he finds his dog, George, sleeping on the couch. 

“Get up,” he says to the golden retriever, patting his red fur, “time for a jog.” 

George makes a sound of discontent but gets off the sofa and allows Ben to put his leash on. 

Twenty minutes later, they return from their run. Ben puts some food in George’s bowl, turns on the coffee pot and goes to take a shower and shave. When he’s done he gets dressed for the day and then goes to drink his coffee and eat a bagel while he watches the morning news where they’re discussing the city council election and one of the candidates, Leslie Knope and her previous sex scandal with Councilman Dexhart. 

Ben rolls his eyes. He doesn’t know much about Knope, but he doubts she ever slept with Dexhart. 

Then a commercial comes on for her opponent, Bobby Newport. 

Ben vows to donate some money to Knope’s campaign. 

At seven thirty, Ben unlocks the door to this office, turns on the lights and his computer and answers emails and gets his lesson plans ready for the day. Ten till eight, he heads to his first class, turns on the projector and talks to his students as they trickle in. As soon as the bell chimes the hour, he shuts and locks the door.

“Who can tell me about the Social Contract?” 

A student in the first row raises his hand. “Neil?”

\----

At eleven, Ben takes his lunch break. He buys a sandwich from the cafeteria and goes back to his office where he answers more emails and begins to grade the papers from his 9:00 “The American Political System” class.  
At twelve thirty, Chris Traeger, a fellow political science teacher, comes in with yet another attempt to set Ben up on a date. 

“I’m good, Chris.” 

“I just want you to be happy,” Chris says, placing his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Because you are the best and you deserve the best.”

It’s not like Ben’s against dating, but, and this might sound cheesy, he has yet to meet anyone both he and George can agree on. The last woman Ben tried to date, George had chewed up her Manolo Blahnics. The one before that George followed everywhere, but her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and she didn't know or care about politics. 

In his two o’clock class, a kid wearing a Bobby Newport button walks in. 

“You’re voting for Newport?”

“I guess, sure.”

“What about Bobby Newport’s policies do you like, Mr. Gregerson?” 

“Uh, I dunno. He seems like a fun guy.”

Ben wants to take the kid’s ball cap off his head and smack him with it. But he refrains. “Sooner or later, Mr. Gregerson, you’re going to learn that just because someone seems fun, it doesn’t mean they’re going to work in your best interest.”

“So you’re voting for that Knope chick?” Another student asks him. 

“Her name is Leslie Knope, and as a matter of fact, I am.” Realizing his voice is rising, he pauses to collect himself. “But who I’m voting for isn't important. What matters is who you like. I’m talking about their policies, Mr. Gregerson, not just whether you want to get a beer with them.”

At five forty five, Ben goes home to find George waiting anxiously. Ben lets him outside to do his business, turns on the television where yet another commercial for Leslie Knope is airing. 

He watches it even though he’s seen it thirty times already. 

He’s just really interested in politics. 

\----

Ben plays fetch with George for half an hour until his arm gets tired, then he grades papers through the night until his stomach rumbles around nine thirty. He sets the papers on Machiavelli aside and goes into his kitchen to find his refrigerator empty except for a jar of mayonnaise and a four day old container of kung pao chicken. 

“I’ll be right back,” he tells George, who wags his tail from his dog bed where he’s chewing on a bone.

Ben’s not sure what he wants when he walks into the Krogers. Figuring he should at least get a few things to last him through the week so he doesn’t have to come back, Ben grabs a cart and pushes it into the produce department where a blonde woman with pigtails is selecting a carton of strawberries. He walks by her toward the fresh spinach, where he hears Chris’ overly enthusiastic, but helpful advice on how to shop for produce in his head. He inspects the lettuce and mushrooms carefully before putting them in his cart. He’s not sure what he’s going to do with them, but maybe he can make an omelet sometime later in the week. 

That doesn’t answer the question as to what he’s going to have for dinner tonight, though. 

He hears Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” come from nowhere. He looks around and the woman blushes at him and opens her phone. 

“This is Leslie Knope.”

Ben’s really glad he’s not holding anything, because he would have dropped it if he was. He finds himself staring at her as she talks to whomever’s on the other line. 

She’s prettier in person. 

He looks away, pretends to be interested in the radishes, but when he turns around she’s gone. 

It takes him fifteen more minutes to shop for the rest of his ingredients, five of which are spent deciding on what kind of jelly to buy before saying screw it and throwing a jar of grape into his basket. It’s late, he’ll just have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and call it a night. 

When Ben gets to the line he looks around for Leslie, but doesn’t see her. He’s run up by a girl wearing a fur trimmed jacket and far too much jewelry who looks him up and down like he’s a steak and she’s a rabid dog. 

“You’re kinda sexy.”

Ben has no idea how he’s supposed to respond, so he just grabs his bags and hurries out of the store, ignoring the way she yells that she’d definitely, “Hit that.”

\----

On Saturday, he takes George to Ramsett Park. It’s complete coincidence that Leslie Knope happens to be holding a rally there, but while he’s there he watches her give her stump speech. She looks different, more put together and professional, but really it’s her energy that impresses Ben. It’s obvious from the way she talks that she cares deeply about the town and only wants to make it better. 

A three legged dog runs over to George.

“Uh, hello.”

“Champion!” A guy chases after the dog. “Champion!” He kneels down on the grass and pets the dog Ben assumes is  
Champion and looks up at Ben. “Oh hey, dude. Sorry about that.”

“It’s no problem.”

He stands up, hooking his leash back on Champion’s collar. “Is this your dog?” he asks, reaching down to pet George as he and Champion get acquainted. 

“Uh yes. His name’s George. I’m Ben.”

“Awesome! I’m Andy. This is Champion. You here for Leslie’s speech?”

“Uh, yeah. Do you uh, know her?”

“She’s my boss. Coolest woman I know. Besides my wife.” He waves at a bored looking woman standing beside the stage who smiles briefly at Andy before she returns to looking bored again. 

“Oh. Well she uh, seems nice.”

“Dude, she’s the best!”

“I meant Leslie.” Ben feels the need to clarify, even though he’s sure Andy’s wife is perfectly fine too. 

Andy grins. “Oh my god. You should totally meet her. Come on. Bring George. Leslie loves dogs.”

Ben finds himself stuck in that spot though, unable to get his feet to move. But then George jumps up and runs after Champion, pulling Ben forward. 

And that is how he meets Leslie. Not by calmly walking up to her, introducing himself and shaking her hand, but by crashing into her as he loses his grip on George’s leash as he runs between her legs. They stumble and land on the ground with him on top of her. 

Ben’s first thought upon landing is, _Shit._ his second is _good lord her eyes are blue_.

He hurries to stand and helps her up. “I’m so sorry. He’s usually really well behaved.” 

“It’s okay,” she says and he’s noticed she hasn’t let go of his hand yet. 

“I’m Ben.”

“Leslie Knope.” 

“You okay, Leslie?” Andy asks. 

“I’m okay.” She lets go of Ben’s hand and he tries not to focus on the sense of loss. “I’m okay,” she tells the other onlookers. “What about you? Are you alright?” 

“Uh, yeah. I’m...”

“Leslie?” A woman comes over and puts her hands on Leslie’s shoulders. “We’ve got to go.”

“Okay, Ann.” Ben guesses she’s the same Ann Leslie talked to at the grocery store.  
“I’ll uh, see you around,” he says to Leslie’s retreating back. 

\----

Ben tries his best not to think about the way Leslie felt underneath him, or the way her hand seemed to fit perfectly in his. 

It doesn’t work. 

Ben doesn’t have classes on Tuesdays. He usually spends the day at home, grading assignments and catching up on the shows on his DVR, but that morning he goes to make coffee to find his coffee pot broken. 

He throws it in the trash, puts on his clothes and tells George he’ll be back. 

There’s a line at the coffee house. While he waits, Ben looks around at the disturbing art on the walls that all seem to be painted by the same person, an Orin if he makes the name out right. As he’s looking around he sees Ann sitting at a table with a venti coffee and a day planner open in front of her. 

He orders his coffee and as soon as the barista hands it to him, he goes over to her. “Hi, you’re Leslie Knope’s friend, right?”

She smiles at him. “Best friend and campaign manager, Ann Perkins.” 

Ben shakes her hand. “Ben Wyatt.”

“Oh yeah! You’re the guy who ran into Leslie at the rally!”

Ben flushes. “Um, yeah. Not the best way to make a first impression, huh?”

Ann laughs. “I don’t know. Leslie did call you that cute guy with the crazy dog.”

“He’s really not that crazy. Wait, she said I’m cute?”

Ann only laughs harder. “As her campaign manager, I have to tell you her schedule is completely booked from now till May. I even have to schedule when she sleeps. But, as her best friend, I think you should call her.” She rips off a piece of paper and writes down a phone number. “This is her number.”

Ben takes it and puts in his wallet. “Thanks. Oh so uh, how is her campaign going anyway? I’m just asking because I teach political science at the community college-”

“You teach poli-sci?” 

“Yeah?”

“Two questions. First, do you know anything about running campaign and are you busy?”

Ben decides not to tell her about Partridge. Instead he nods and says, “Yeah, I know a little. And no, I’m free.”

“Sit down.” Ann orders, pointing the chair beside her. 

\----  
Ben doesn't call Leslie, but he does go to the next town hall meeting the parks department puts on about new swings in Ramsett park. He doesn't particularly care about swings, seeing as he doesn't have any kids, but that's unimportant. What is important is the way she handles the crowd, treating every weirdo with respect, even if they're yelling about how they can't hear their own thoughts because the birds are too loud. 

She's going to make a great city councilwoman. 

After she calls the meeting to a close, Ben walks up to her as she's putting her binder into her bag. 

"Hey."

She looks up and her face flickers with recognition. "You're the guy with the dog!"

"Yeah," Ben laughs, "I uh actually came to apologize for that. He's really better behaved than that, I think your speech got him riled up."

"I see," Leslie says with a grin that meets her eyes, "and what about you? Did my speech rile you up?"

"Yes," he says, and then she smirks and he catches her meaning. "I mean, it was inspiring." 

The smirk disappears, her expression softening. "You really think so?" 

The hope in her voice gets Ben right in his chest. "I know so. This town would be foolish not to vote for you."

"I don't know about that. Bobby Newport is pretty-"

"Bobby Newport has nothing on you." 

Leslie closes her mouth and stares at Ben as if trying to study his mind, and even though he should see the warning signs for what they are, he doesn't expect her to throw her arms around him and start crying. 

He tries really hard not to think about how good Leslie feels against him while he pats her back. "It's alright." 

She sniffs and looks up at him. "No it's not. It's a disaster. Everything is a disaster."

"I highly doubt that."

"It is!" Leslie yells, gaining the attention of a couple stragglers. "Sorry. It's just my campaign isn’t going so well and I'm behind in the polls and I haven't had a good night's sleep in over five months and you're really cute and funny-"

“Thanks.”

“But I’m swamped right now and I can’t really date anyone."

“Oh. It’s okay, I understand-”

“But I really miss sex,” her face scrunches, “oh god I can’t believe I said that-”

“Leslie!” he yells over her, just to get her to stop talking. “Leslie, it’s okay. Really. Look, why don’t you give me your phone and I’ll give you my number and if you ever have time, call me. I’m free most nights and I’m usually just up grading papers.”

“You’re a teacher?”

“Political Science and American History,” he answers as he punches his number into her phone. 

“Oh. Oh god.” She groans, putting her face in her hand. 

“Are you okay?” Ben asks, giving the phone back. 

Leslie drops her other hand and nods. “Yeah. I’m okay. I’m- you know what, screw it. What are you doing tomorrow night?” 

He gives her a long look before replying. "Making you dinner."

She smiles again and once more Ben feels warmth coursing through his body. “Okay. I’ll call you?” 

“I’m looking forward to it.” 

\----

She sends him a text the next day at three thirty during his lecture on the Nixon administration, asking if he still wants her to come over. 

It’s kind of a stupid question. Of course he wants her to come over and as soon as the class is over, he sends her a text back saying just that and then another, asking what she likes. 

_Waffles. Breakfast food :D._

He can do that. Except he doesn’t have a waffle iron and won’t have time to go get one due to advisory meetings with his students until six. 

As soon as his last student leaves, Ben grabs his briefcase, locks his office door and dashes to his car. 

He makes a detour to the grocery store to get what he needs to make Leslie dinner, along with two stick candles and daisies from the floral department. He’s greeted at the door by George, who spins in two circles, runs to his dog bed, grabs his ball and brings it back to Ben, dropping it at his feet. 

“Okay,” Ben says, rubbing George behind his ears. “But only for a few minutes.” He takes George out into his backyard and throws the ball for him a few times. Knowing there’s a lot he needs to do, when George brings his ball back he shakes his head. “Sorry, dude. I’ve got a date tonight.”

Just saying those words makes Ben realize the gravity of the situation. He runs back into the house, does a quick sweep to make sure there’s no dirty socks or underwear on his floor and then he gets started on dinner. 

He works fast while George watches him from the doorway leading from the kitchen to the hallway, slicing  
strawberries into a bowl with some sugar while his griddle heats up. Then he puts on the bacon and makes a custard for the bread. 

His phone buzzes. _On my way. Do you have whipped cream?_

Ben frantically searches his fridge for whipped cream, but doesn’t find any. There’s enough cream and sugar to make some fresh, but the last time he tried to make his own whipped cream it turned into meringue. Figuring it’s better not to risk it, he texts her back. 

_No. Sorry. :(_

_I’ll bring some!_

He smiles at her response and goes back to cooking, setting the bacon aside when it’s done to cool while the  
French toast cooks. 

He stirs the strawberries, now soaking in a sweet syrup. 

He then runs into his dining room, puts the daisies in the middle and remembering he doesn’t have a candlestick holder, uses an empty beer bottle instead to hold the candle. It’s not the most romantic image, but it will have to do. He looks at his watch again. 

He runs into the kitchen to find George staring woefully at the bacon. “You know the rule about human food.” 

George lays down on the floor and whines. 

Ben leans down, pats George and then goes to turn the stereo on. 

Then he changes stations. 

Then back to the first. 

Then to another. 

And then back to the first. 

Smelling the toast, he runs back into the kitchen and flips the bread over and spreads cream cheese on top.

He looks down at his clothes, hoping he doesn’t look too much like a college professor, although considering Leslie’s response when he told her what he does, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. 

Oh shit, it’s too late to take a shower. 

He turns off the griddle and begins plating, layering the slices with the strawberries three to a plate, along with three strips of bacon that he tries to lay out as neat as he can even though they seem to want to curl. He sets the plates out on the table and lights the candle just as his doorbell rings. 

“Coming!” 

Palms sweating, Ben opens the door and promptly forgets how to breathe. If she was pretty last night, it doesn’t even compare to how she looks now, wearing a low cut black dress, her hair bright even under his flickering porch light. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.” 

“Um, do you want to come in? You’re just in time.”

George comes up, ball in his mouth. 

“Hello!” She says cheerfully rubbing Ben’s dog behind his ears. George barks at her and nudges his ball at her feet. 

“Sorry about him, he’s got a one track mind.” Ben looks at George. “Come on, time for you to eat and run around outside. I’ll be just a minute,” he says to Leslie, “make yourself at home. Feel free to change the radio station, I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

Ben lets George outside, puts a cup of dog food in his dish and shuts the back door. When he returns to his living room he finds Leslie looking at his bookshelf. And once again, Ben finds it difficult to form a coherent thought around her. Maybe he should let George back in for a buffer. 

“This smells really good,” she says, “What did you make?” 

“French toast.”

He’s busy applauding himself for remembering how to speak when she spins around. 

“French toast? You made that?” 

“Uh yeah.” Is French toast not okay? She said she likes breakfast food. Is French toast the exception? And oh, she’s kissing him. 

She’s kissing him. 

It takes Ben less than a second to get it together and start kissing her back, wrapping his arms around her waist up her back and into her hair to find one of those loose, soft curls. 

“The food,” he says between kisses, “is getting cold.”

She jumps back. “Oh, oh god. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Leslie, it’s okay.” It’s more than okay. A lot more than okay. 

She looks away, a soft but embarrassed smile on her face. "Um, it smells amazing." 

"Thanks. You ready to eat now?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

It’s been awhile, a long time really, since Ben’s made someone dinner, but there’s still something about watching someone take their first bite of something he’s made. He watches Leslie as she takes a can of whipped cream out of her purse and covers her French toast with it. Then she cuts into it with a fork, making sure to get a strawberry and takes a bite. 

Her eyes close and a soft moan escapes her. 

It does nothing to help Ben’s situation. 

“This amazing. Where did you learn how to make this?”

“I worked as a waiter while I was in college. The owner taught me some stuff.”

Her eyes light up. “Oh yeah? What else can you make?"

“Not much, just a few pasta dishes and an old family chicken soup recipe.” 

She says, “I can’t make soup.” And takes another bite, a drop of whipped cream sticking to her lip. She darts her tongue out and licks it off. Ben grips his fork tight in his hand. Not helping at all. 

Her phone rings as soon as their plates are empty. “Crap on a crayon. I have to get this.”

“My bedroom is down the hall,” Ben says standing as she does to take their dishes into the kitchen. He washes them while he waits on Leslie, then he goes to check on George. 

“You can bring him inside,” Leslie says coming up behind Ben. 

George runs past Ben to Leslie, who kneels on the floor to pet him, giving Ben clear view of her cleavage. He pointedly looks behind her head. “Do you have to leave?” 

“No. That was just Ann, reminding me I have a meeting tomorrow. I think she was just checking up on me. But it is late."

“Yeah,” Ben wipes his hands on his pants, “We both have busy days tomorrow. You have that meeting, I have to give a test on the war of 1812.”

“Right.” 

Neither of them make any effort to move though. Between then, George whines and it almost cuts the tension, but not enough. 

“I had a really great time tonight, Ben.”

“Thanks, me too.”

George stands up and walks away and just like that, they step toward each other, closing the gap. He tastes vanilla and cinnamon on her tongue, as well as the sweet tang of strawberries. It’s a powerful combination, causing heat to fill Ben’s stomach. A voice in the back of his head says this is a bad idea, that sex on the first date is a bad idea, but it’s impossible to care when Leslie’s sucking on his bottom lip and untucking his shirt out of his pants. 

But then she yawns. 

"Okay," he says, knowing he has to stop this. "you're about to fall on your feet. How about you stay the night? 

You can sleep on my bed and me and George will stay out here." 

He expects her to argue but she just smiles, kisses him softly and asks if he has a toothbrush she can borrow. 

Ben finds one, and an old shirt she can wear to sleep.

\----

They go on four more dates before they have sex. The first one is at an Italian restaurant and she ends up leaving halfway through because of a "Jerry emergency", the second consists of eating pizza out of the box and watching History Channel documentaries while they hold hands. She gives him a hand job during the show about Watergate but then Ann calls to remind Leslie she has an important meeting in the morning and this time, Leslie leaves. The third date isn't really a date at all since it's at her campaign quarters with her friends, practicing for her debate but at the end she kisses him while April says, "Ewww." So he decides it counts.

On the fourth date she shows up at his house and before he can ask what she wants for dinner, she shakes her head. "Oh no. Dinner later. Sex now." 

"Sex now?" He has to make sure he heard her right. 

"If I don't get your cute butt out of those pants in the next five minutes, I will explode."  
Well. He certainly doesn't want that. 

If Ben thought Leslie felt good underneath him at the park, it is nothing compared to how she feels at this moment, bare skinned, hair spread out on his pillow, fingers squeezing his butt and pushing him on as they move together, breathing into each other's mouths. 

All he really knows is there's no way he's letting her go after this. 

\----

Ben hasn't even set his briefcase down when he hears, "Is it true you're dating Leslie Knope?"

"Where did you hear that?" Ben asks, taking last weeks quiz out to give back. 

"My sister saw you two making out at the bowling alley," Kurtis tells him. "Her friend's pretty hot, you think you could hook me up?"

Ben debates changing Kurtis' grade from a B- to a C but refrains. "No, Mr. Lerpiss, I'm not going to do that.  
But to answer your question, yes I am seeing Ms.Knope, not that it's any of your business."

"Is that why you're voting for her?

"For the last time, Mr. Gregerson, no. I already made up my mind to vote for Leslie before I even met her." 

"Awww." He hears two voices crooning in unison from the back of the classroom. He looks up at where April and Andy are sitting. 

"That's so sweet, dude," Andy says. 

"Yeah, I'm totally telling Leslie's you're in love with her." 

Ben thinks for a minute about throwing them out, but then decides better of it. "Class, this is Andy Dwyer and April Ludgate, they work on Leslie's campaign and are here to answer your questions."

"What?" April asks, eyes wide with panic. "No we're not."

"Now who has a question for them?"

Hands rise and Ben sits back in his chair and pulls out his phone, making sure to get a video to show Leslie later. 

\----

After they celebrate Leslie's victory with waffles and non negotiable talks about their feelings (Tom, it turns out, has a lot of feelings about moisturizers), Ben takes Leslie back home where George greets them both with his ball and a wagging tail. 

"Would you be mad if I said I'm too tired to have sex right now?" she asks as Ben opens the back door to let George out. 

"You do realize we just had sex two hours ago right?"

"Yeah, but that was a quickie in a coat closet. It doesn't count," she says, wrapping her arms around his waist. 

"Ahh," Ben says, pretending that makes sense. "Well in that case, I'm pretty beat myself."

She smiles, kisses him softly and then rests her head on his shoulder and watches George until he comes back inside. 

"Come on, Ben and George," she says, scratching George behind his ears. "Let's go to bed." 

They follow. They finally found someone they agree on.


End file.
